


Shelby f**king Goodkind

by Veronica_Lake



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, First Time, Happily Ever After, Morning After, Under the lychee tree
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:42:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28245609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veronica_Lake/pseuds/Veronica_Lake
Summary: Toni’s head wrapping around their first night together, and Shelby’s thoughts of their morning after.And their emotional reunion in the holding facility + some domestic fluff ten years later with a stir of drama.
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 38
Kudos: 348





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I did a few minor amends, but it is mostly canon-compliant.

It was almost noon, yet I hadn’t done much activity so far. Just refreshed myself in the ocean, grabbed a can of water and returned back to my sleeping pad. Neither could I find the energy for more nor the will. The warm-up water wouldn’t be my first choice for breakfast. I suppose not the second either, or one-thousandth. Surprisingly I wasn’t raging about the thought that instead of crispy bacon and fluffy eggs, I had few gulps of tasteless liquid. Hungry yes, angry not anymore. Maybe because I had no strength left to be angry. And perhaps because I did not desire to feel resentment, any longer.

I let my eyelids fall down, and I also let my mind wander to the place with no scorching sun. The place with no grains of sand in my underwear that were almost impossible to get rid of, no matter how many times I washed them.

And that place was a classic diner with red booths and bottles of ketchup and two shabby perforated containers with salt and pepper on every table. All walls were decorated with those retro diner metal signs like _Drink coca-cola, refresh yourself_ or _Try our delicious waffles, made fresh and daily._ It was that kind of place where you couldn’t always put your finger on what was the precise meal that smell was coming from the kitchen. Yet, the smell was always coming from one of the most delicious foods ever. 

And the waitress with the name Peggy Sue, Betty or Daisy, always smiling and kind was ready to fulfil all of your secret desires according to food and drinks. So, this Betty or Daisy approached my booth with a large plate of bacon and scrambled eggs and the most beautiful looking waffles plus the huge glass of cool lemon ice-tea. 

_“Enjoy your meal, Toni.”_ Betty/Daisy knew my name, of course, she did. Everyone knew the local basketball superstar, Toni Shalifoe. 

I was dying to savour every little piece of it at once. Still, I nestled deeper into the booth, first and allowed the captivating smell of the food made me look forward to my lavish breakfast even more. 

_“Care to share, Shalifoe?”_ A newcomer slid down to my booth. And not only she dared to leave a kiss on my cheek but took one of my light and tender waffles with a perfect crisp on the outside. So, this newcomer stole my waffle and even made me forget about the food. How dared she?

Shelby fucking Goodkind. What kind of fucked-up name was that. I thought faking anger, but in reality, the smile was spreading on my face. Shelby Goodkind. I hadn’t planned to include her into my bacon waffles fantasy. I definitely hadn’t expected that the day would come when I did not resent her, anymore. Yet here it was. I forgot about waffles and lifted the order that forbade my imagination to get this way, Shelby Goodkind way. I felt her head resting on my shoulder and her body pressing against mine. And that scent of hers, it was all in my head. When I couldn’t have bacon and waffles, I could at least have this cheesy fantasy for a moment, couldn’t I?

It was quite peculiar. That I remembered how she smelt and tasted. That short moment that had happened a week ago had brought not only a tingling sensation to my lower belly but the touch of essence of Shelby Goodkind, as well. This Island didn’t offer a countless variety of soaps and body lotions. What we had was an endless amount of ocean water and plantain and peppermint leaves for keeping our breaths fresh. So, when Shelby had kissed me, what had been given to me was nothing but the sole scent of her, just her. And a little pinch of saltness. In reality, it was exactly that wonderfull post-sex scent, one must adore. When your lover's body is entangled with yours, and you can feel how much she enjoyed it, how great job you have done to make her come, to bring her on cloud nine. Maybe that’s why it was so tricky to keep Shelby out of my head. Our kiss had barely lasted 10 seconds, yet almost everything had been delivered through it. The urgency, the intimacy, the satisfaction, the freaking post-sex scent. 

So yeah, despite the fact this island had left its mark on all of us, I still found Shelby powerfully attractive. Yet the desire wasn’t the first thing I felt when looking at her. A couple of days ago it had been pure unadulterated disdain. Now it was an urge to protect her. Oh, how ridiculous, Toni. But yeah, I wished I could help her to understand and erase any possible self-loathing in the process. No matter if she was actually attracted to me or just had taken the opportunity because it prevailed over her self-control. And I, Toni Shalifoe in person, hadn’t had nothing to do with it. 

That meltdown of her had been awful, but she seemed she was doing better, now. She was back to her (good)kind and sweet self, and she didn’t freak out while being close to me. I believed it meant she was processing the whole lesbian thing not getting back to denial. Which brought an even wider smile on my face.

“Tell us, which hottie are you fantasising about, Toni.” Fatin obviously noticed the pleasant emotions emanating from me. “I am damn hell sure we all can use some distraction from this madness.”

I cut my Shelby fantasy short and jump on my feet. “Miss outstanding crispy smoked bacon. That’s her name.”

“Oh, you naughty girl.” Fatin snapped back, and I decided it’s time to engage my mind in some less food or Shelby related stuff but more productive ones. And who would be the better team-up for this plan than Marty? No one.

“Remember our fourth-grade teacher?” I joined Martha on her personal log as she was trying to find some secret hidden containment of protein bar wrap.

“Miss Burgum? Weird lady.”

“She was kind of tree-hugging nut birds.” I chuckled. And thanks to Marty and our memories of Miss Burgum, we hatched the plan of obtaining some more food. The first task I had come up with was successful, then. The second not so much, because my eloquent mouth brought Shelby on the board, too without my deliberate effort. 

Was my unconsciousness trying to keep her close as much as possible because I liked her around? Or because I wished to watch over her? The answer was unknown to me and also probably unimportant for the moment. Because our little scout party just lunged into the wilds together.

But what felt like a girl scout, in the beginning, took an unexpected plot twist. Or twists. First, these cute acts of affection between Shelby and I were happening one after another. And I would swear they felt like flirting. 

I tried to convince myself it was bullshit and nothing like that was going on. Yet, the more time we spent together, the harder it was to connect the shimmering in my lower belly with hunger instead of Shelby’s closeness. 

I couldn’t know if there was any shimmering going on unrelated to lack of food on her side. Still, it was undeniable she was enjoying our time together a lot. It was fun, and it was easy, and it would be so fucking perfect, just messing around. If we weren’t on a deserted island. And If the whole Shelby’s support system back home weren’t just a bunch of narrow-minded hateful pricks who probably forced her to be someone she’s not.

But while anything about Shelby fucking Goodkind had bred my fury before now it was quite the opposite. Now, when I believed I understood her suffering, I wanted nothing more than to lend a hand whenever I could. Now, when my protective instincts had arisen, Shelby’s presence ceased any possible anger, because somehow, I knew the rage would not help to ease her suffering. So, I just took it one step after another with her, enjoying what was here instead of raging about what wasn’t.

The second twist came when Marty turned on her heels and left us because of our different view on if our bellies should be filled or the goat’s life, we encountered spared.

I had taken Shelby’s side and surprised not only myself but also poor Martha. I didn’t feel bad about it, but I wasn’t particularly thrilled to bits, either I had to stand up against my friend. Though there was no other way, wasn’t it? Lost in thought about how naïve my best friend could be every now and then, I underestimated the depth of the stream we were crossing. I only realised the path I chose was anything but shallow when the flowing water reached my waists.

“This is not the way.” I turned to Shelby meeting her mesmerising green eyes. Which made me wonder if it wouldn’t be better to sink down to the stream entirely and let the cool liquid calm my arousal. Because the swirling water had a funny way of sneaking up on me when it had tingled the right place between my thighs just the exact moment.

I wade out of the deep water, and eventually, we found a better place to cross it. After a couple of minutes of silence when I was rushing deeper into the wilderness, Shelby’s hand landed on my shoulder. The touch was light and short-lived, but the tenderness behind it made me shiver. I hoped Shelby didn’t notice. This mission of ours was about food hunt, not about my mushy feelings. 

“Do you think Martha is going to be okay?” She asked. I shrugged. Marty was a pure soul, and this island could bring to life the worst nightmares.

“I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not.” I spoke my mind. “This place, like, makes you face your demons or something and it turns out your demons are really fucking ugly.”

“Yeah.” Shelby sighed, and suddenly I couldn’t shake the feeling I had overstepped. She needed her own pace to deal with what she was dealing with, not my preaching.

“No, I didn’t mean—“without my conscious effort, my own hand rose and scooted up Shelby’s forearm. “I didn’t mean yours. I just meant, like, everybody’s.” And I let the touch linger for a bit longer than just a friend would let it.

Her gaze followed my move, and then her eyes flicked up to meet mine. “I know.” There was something so intense behind them I couldn’t bear it any longer. I must have looked away, just to find something almost equally marvellous as Shelby Goodkind. The lychee tree.

It wasn’t waffles and bacon, but it tasted like heaven. Not to mention watching Shelby relishing this feast was pure bliss as well.

We didn’t need much to fill our starving narrowed bellies. And I didn’t need much of this feeling of excitement to tear down another barrier that kept my affection towards Shelby in check. Through the gentle stroke, I removed a piece of lychee from her face, but I took my time to remove the palm of my hand from the touch.

The dynamic between us shifted for the second time today. But this shift brought the wave of heat surging not only across my body but also hers. I could feel it. I could sense the need in her. I could read the message in her eyes. She wanted… me? Or just a female form? No matter what it was, it didn’t mean she was ready.

But holy hell, I was. Nevertheless, I very much understood it must have not been me who calls the shots. Seeing her leaning closer, pressing her lips to mine brought the sweetest agony. And for whatever twisted reason, this kiss wasn’t just a kiss. Now when I was expecting it, I could fully dive into it. For this time, it wasn’t only a release for Shelby. What it lacked in urgency it returned in tenderness.

And my body’s reaction went off the scale despite nothing more happened, yet than a chaste brush of our lips. I mean, I loved girls, I adored them. Yet there still were some nuances according to kissing them. Some kisses were like achieving triple-double in the game - satisfactory. Some were like scoring a winner in regional finals - exhilarating. But this one was nothing less than being picked for U-19 NT squad, winning the whole shit and being crowned a MVP - nonpareil. 

But how were the odds Shelby is not going to run away? I needed to know, and it took everything in me to break the kiss. She was still there, not fleeing in shame. Which of course didn’t mean she wasn’t about to do that in three seconds.

And I would rather deal with her turning me down now, then later when I let myself believe we were really happening. 

My whole body was on fire, craving her. Yet, I believed I still could step down if she really wasn’t up to this. “Are you sure?” I asked.

Damn, she was. And in no time, we were down on the ground topless, our bodies intertwined.

Time had not much meaning after that. I supposed nothing had, except for Shelby. She was far behind me with experiences of this kind of intimacy, I could tell. She was a quick learner, though. The fucking fastest.

I kept the pace slow and stayed careful with my touches, with places I dared to kiss or with how daring my exploration of her body was becoming. I sought a permit for every little step further in her eyes or in her body language. Sometimes it was just a nod, the other time she just made our kiss more profound, but what I loved the most was when Shelby finally allowed herself to release sweet moans of pleasure.

And everything I brought her pleasure she was eager to give back with the same level of lust or softness and intimacy.

I had no idea how far we were about to progress. However, every scenario where Shelby will still be with me in the morning not ghosting on me was freaking perfect. I thought, and right after that, she ceased our make-out, kind of abruptly.

The last rays of the sun sitting on the horizon made her look like a painting, like something unreal you wished to touch but never will be close enough. But despite all that I had Shelby right here in my arms. Her lips were trembling a bit swollen from too many kisses received, as much as mine. And her delicate slender fingers danced around my cheek.

“You are beautiful Toni.” She breathed. “I thought you were beautiful when I saw you on the plane.”

And with that, she seized the hold of my wrist then navigated my hand to slip inside her shorts. What waited for me there meant I damn hell didn’t need to ask if she was sure. The surge in me was almost too much to bear as much as the flood down there. Was it any other girl I would probably didn’t waste a second, but this was Shelby fucking Goodkind. Before the doubts if this should be her first time could overcome me, her hot shallow breaths and sensation rippling all the way through her body blew them away.

My fingers dove into the pool of wetness and Shelby’s body arched against them, her eyes shut tight. I brought our lips together again.

“Any moment you tell me to stop, I’ll stop,” I assured her. I felt I must. Although it seemed it was the most pointless offer I had ever made in my life.

“Don’t, Toni. Don’t stop.” She moaned.

I had never been so aware of my every move when with a girl. I had never enjoyed every reaction I had been causing as much as now. And no climax I had orchestrated before felt so intense as Shelby’s.

I locked her in my arms so she could soak up the warmth only this kind of connection could provide. And I also let myself savour this delight of having her there. And while Shelby was resting on my shoulder, probably falling asleep, I reached for the Dawn of Eve backpack and took out one of Fatin’s piece of wardrobe, the oversized cardigan. It was about to serve as a nice little blanket for us for a moment while the rolled bag created a makeshift pillow.

I was close to dozing off as well when Shelby’s delicate form came to life again. First, she just left a couple of light kisses on the crook of my neck. The one not as light followed when her lips found mine and then… her mouth travelled lower and lower, brushing my burning skin until she was dangerously close to the hem of my leggings.

“Sh—Shelby you don’t have to—” I panted.

“But I want to,” she replied still in after orgasm daze and my leggings were not in place any longer. And before I got lost in euphoria, I thought it's such a shame Shelby fucking Goodkind was allergic to seafood. She could deal with any mussel without trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

Oh, sweet Jesus. Toni was still sleeping. I meant it probably hadn’t been more than 5 minutes since I had woken up and untangled from her embrace. I had been considering running away. For three seconds or such. It would be imbecile of me, oh it would. So here I was waiting, anticipating, speculating. It felt like forever. And being alone with my thoughts wasn’t exactly beneficial for me right now.

_But what is going to happen when she wakes up Shelby?_

Toni surely wouldn’t waste a second to talk about last night. She was fierce and passionate and outspoken about everything that was going on around. And I definitely couldn’t talk about it. It had been… it… I felt the heat flushing across my face. Surging through my whole body. I remembered Toni’s untamed moans right before I had made her— _Damn._ I buried my face into the palms of my hands being equally embarrassed and aroused while the delightful tremor was spreading from the place between my legs.

What she had done to me, oh my. It was exhilarating to relive her touches, her kisses. I had never imagined it could be like this with someone. Toni had basically fulfilled my wildest fantasies. Those I would never admit I had. And she hadn’t expected anything back. What she had done to me yesterday, eclipsed everything I had known about intimacy. Or sex.

The sex. Oh, Lord. I was Shelby fucking Goodkind. Immaculate paragon of purity, integrity or whatever perfection I was supposed to represent (with my two missing teeth).

Yet, it was Toni who made me feel I was perfect for the very first time, ever. Because she had made me believe I didn’t need to be perfect at all. Oh, and she also made me— _Damn._ I gulped and let my eyes peak towards her. Yeah, she was still sleeping. And didn’t stop to be radiant, as well.

Twenty-two days on this deserted island and every consecutive one I had found her more and more captivating. It was safe enough to say it now. Because she liked me back, right? Right? Was I losing my mind thinking this? Or had I finally been touched by clarity?

I didn’t know. What I knew, though, was nothing about being around Toni felt wrong.

Why would God be against something like this? We weren’t hurting anyone or making anyone miserable. And frankly, I had felt miserable for the massive part of my life. Because of what my dad expected of me, my mum, or Andrew or anyone actually except for Becca. I had been miserable for so long, and because of what I had done to Becca, I had made myself even more miserable. But yesterday had changed everything. Would God really wished for people to be miserable while following his teaching? Or would he want them to make others happy?

The bible says there are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. There was nothing sinful about finding Toni Shalifoe’s shoulders so kissable. About the desire to cuddle with her. About kissing her neck, her cheek, her hair. Nothing about whispering _Good morning babe_ into her ear.

If the heat didn’t make me blush again, I would probably do the precise thing. All of these emotions had been abhorrent to my caged mind before. Not anymore, it appeared. Still, it wasn’t a piece of cake, this peculiar situation akin to nothing from my past.

Toni stirred up, and the trained reasoner, the master of dissociation inside me, woke up as well. And I was dreading she’s going to kiss me good morning. Well, she didn’t. She just acted super cool and normal, like we hadn’t… like… like it had been some girls’ pyjama party that had happened yesterday.

And as a perfect example of my inner fight, I was suddenly disappointed she didn’t bring our involvement up at once. Oh, and I definitely wanted that good morning kiss.

“Hey, you’re doing okay?” Yet, when Toni had actually brought it up, I was close to freak out.

“I’m really good.” I wasn’t. I mean I was, but—

“It’s okay if you’re not.” Toni was so cool about everything. “If you’re little iffy, “and supportive and exactly what I had wished her to be and doubted she could. And I became so overwhelmed by all these feelings I harboured towards her. The endearment and intimacy and joy, and I barely could understand how it had happened and how much it meant to me, let alone to explain to her.

I blabbered probably something not really coherent and could just hope I made sense. Although Toni did it again.

“Shelby, it’s cool.” She kept her wits about herself and kept everything in line as much. She didn’t allow any awkwardness to seep out, any panic to rise and I kinda wanted nothing else than clutch her in my arms in the tight hug. And that would exactly be super embarrassing.

On our way back to the basecamp, I started to ramble about my school trip to a planetarium. Because I knew Toni had never been in there. It was supposed to be my way to avoid the silence. And I also wished I could give her an experience of what had been denied to her, at least. But too late I realised I did not remember much, and space really wasn’t my thing. And it must have sounded like I am bragging about the planetarium because I had been there while she hadn’t.

And it was probably right before my dread of what I had done consumed me when Toni saved the day again. She picked right where my clumsy story about the solar system ended. She explained a little bit of every planet. Pluto was her favourite, though. Thus, she found it extremely unfair that it wasn’t considered a full-time planet anymore. She also mentioned its fascinating relationship with Neptune. According to their orbits, it might seem these two will clash eventually and destroy each other. Against all odds, Pluto and Neptune coexisted just fine in their own little universe.

Frankly, I had no clue what she was talking about. Still, I had almost no doubt, Toni could read a phone book to me, and I would probably enjoy it anyway.

So, when we reached the camp, I was a stuttering fool again, because that cover story for us I had already supposed to figure out was long forgotten. But Toni happened and shoved it off with finesse in three seconds. And no one questioned our last night whereabouts.

Another odd in my favour was a dead goat. Butchering the animal required my full attention, so none of my thoughts had the luxury to float away to Toni and our night together. But once all of us were saved from the horrendous fate of starvation, the tables turned. She became my only concern.

It was exhausting to fight it. And why would I since those memories of last night were one the fondest in my life? Those twisted walls in my head had been falling down one after another. Yet, there was a catch. Toni hadn’t approached me once since we had returned. On the other hand, I hadn’t resisted the desire to watch.

She had caught me to do that couple of times and had given me a smile every time. She had smiled that Toni’s way that would melt an iceberg. Damn, of course, I had hoped it meant she was about to find me rather sooner than later. And bring that freaking energy of hers that could cause a nuclear winter. Or revive the scorched land and turn it into the garden of Eden.

Yeah, that was Toni Shalifoe I had a pleasure to get to know in these strange 22 days. Indifference wasn’t the word in her dictionary. Until now. After we… when I…

_Damn. Maybe calm down, Shelby. Wasn’t this exactly what you wanted from her?_

Well, not exactly, to be honest. I had expressed my inability to talk about what happened. It didn’t mean that Toni couldn’t pass me along, and our hand would brush in the process. Or she could ask me to go for a walk and talk about Pluto-Neptune correlation or anything really. And maybe if we were out of sight of others, she could hold my hand also. And left a little kiss on my cheek. And maybe— _Damn._

When I was firmly determined to seek her and... well, I hadn’t elaborated the plan behind this point, yet. Being close to Toni was a goal. So, when I mustered enough courage to do so, I realised she was nowhere at sight. Gosh. Maybe it was a good thing. I was spared from embarrassing myself again. Because while I had been gushing about our night together the whole day, Toni already had forgotten about it. Because it was just a whim for her. A distraction. Wasn’t it?

 _Damn._ I sank into my sleeping pad, sheltered by overhung rock. I hoped a little nap will help to settle my racing thoughts. It didn't because the moment I closed my eyes it all came back to me.

The heat between us. Harmony. I had no freaking clue how, but Toni had known exactly where to touch me. When to slow down or become more daring. I felt myself shiver falling for the memories of her kissing me. Of her lips devouring my bared burning skin. And when she had brought me to the cloud nine, oh my. I wished for nothing else than to have an opportunity to drag Toni to the bedroom with a giant bathroom and jacuzzi and king-size bed. And once we were there, I would lock the door. So, I could have all the time in the world to explore every inch of her beautiful body. Because despite the pleasure she had brought to me, yesterday, the most amazing experience had been when I had done the same for her. The echoes of Toni’s wild moans filled my ears, and this single occurrence almost made me come again. _Damn it._

I turned to my side, scanning the base camp. The girls paid no attention to me. Martha and Dot seemed to be napping, as well. Nora and Rachel were strolling around the beach somewhere in the distance, and Leah and Toni were missing. Only one around who wasn’t in the dreamland was Fatin, hunkered down on the log playing with something. Was it a paper fortune-teller?

Anyway, whatever the trinket in her possession was, it had Fatin’s full attention. I could go back to swooning about Toni, then. I probably would, but I noticed her. She was sitting on the edge of the low cliff, not far, looking somewhere, anywhere but me.

For the whole day, she could have come to me anytime. There had been countless opportunities to have a little chat or something. But she hadn’t done it. Even back then, when she couldn’t stand me, our interaction per day had been less scarce.

 _And what would you do Shelby, if Tony had shown up?_ I would probably stutter or shove her off. Or flinched if she by any chance dared to let her fingers dance up along my arm for whatever reason. Oh, how much I craved that. Her touch. Yet, I would very much likely flinch. Which would hurt her. _Don’t get ahead of yourself. Toni could be hurt by dismissal only if she actually cared about what had happened yesterday._

Not much evidence supported the assumption she did. Oh, Lord, I was such a mess. I needed to move. My nervous energy had to be channelled, preferably to something productive.

I jumped on my feet with no plan hatched. Which resulted in just a couple of few steps and landing right next to Fatin.

“I used to love those things.” I rambled when it was confirmed Fatin really acquired/created the paper fortune-teller. “I used to always ask it if I was gonna marry Tony Romo.” Toni/Tony. What an irony, I realised.

“This is a true testament to the depths of my boredom.” Fatin chuckled. And I would not mind helping her with it. Maybe her sassiness will help as well to cool up my overcharging mind. “Shall we give it a whirl?” She engaged in the game, and the fortune-teller revealed our true faith.

“Obviously, you, dipshit.” I read an answer to her question if we are in the actual Bermuda triangle.

We both burst into laughter. That was a nice change from lusting or overthinking. I thought until Fatin asked. “You want to give it a try?” But her playfulness brought me back on the board in no time and away from overthinking. “Do you have any burning question for the oracle?” She prompted.

Damn, why not. Why I shouldn’t allow a paper fortune-teller to decide my fate. Although there was a tiny catch.

“Do I have to say the question aloud?”

“Ideally,” Fatin sneered, “but if you want to be a mysterious bitch about it, then fine.”

Funny, that sometimes she acted like a posh version of Toni. Which actually sealed the deal about my question.

“I don’t fucking know.” Said the fortune-teller. Totally, Fatin. I laughed at the ridiculousness of the answer.

“Well, that wasn’t fun.” The sneaky gadget was tossed away at once for its treachery. “The whole point of these things is they’re supposed to give you the answer, right?”

Fatin rolled her eyes, unimpressed by my lack of enthusiasm according to her creation. And right after she delivered cruel revenge. “Jesus. I mean… if you are so worried about how she’s feeling,” she pointed towards Toni, “maybe you should go ask her yourself.”

Well, it seemed like I had my answer, after all. Even if it wasn’t fortune-teller that provided it. That was a pro. Fatin reading me like a book, not so much. My dreaded face probably said it all.

Fortunately, she switched from bitchy self to sister in arm in no time. “Please. I know sexual tension when I see it. But don’t worry.” She reassured me not only with words but also with this small gesture of zipping her lips. Oh, my. I wanted to punch her. And hug her at the same time.

But I decided I should focus on talking to Toni instead of panning Fatin about her audacity. “I hate you. I hope you know that.” I stood up and teased her. She didn’t say a word. She couldn’t, her lips were sealed. But her response came with a wide grin and a middle finger.

I appreciated Fatin’s vigour. It was so freaking contagious. And I definitely needed to have as much of it as it got. Because what I was about to do was huge. Even if had no freaking clue what IT was precisely. Am I going to ask Toni if she liked me? And if by some miracle she did, am I going to tell her I cannot like her back because I am damaged goods? Or I am just going to smack her lips at once?

 _Damnit, Shelby. Get a grip!_ I tried to stop my courage from fading while I was walking up the cliff. Toni looked so at peace. And I wished I could sneak up on her, cover her eyes and ask her guess who. And she wouldn’t answer, just turn to me and capture my lips and… _Stop, Shelby, stop!_

“Hey,” I made my presence known before I could do something silly.

“Hey,” Toni greeted me with that look. Parents announcing after Sunday lunch that there is a chocolate ice-cream in the freezer, look. The face of one damn happy kid, showing her pure heart. Not that I knew much about such an occurrence.

I didn’t know how she did that, but she definitely could make you feel like the centre of the universe with one look, one touch, a few words. But once I sat down next to her, that look was gone. She was again involved in inspecting something in the distance. I couldn’t bear it anymore.

“So, this is not matter to you?”

“What?” She turned to me like I hadn’t even been here before.

“You’re this…” I swallowed that annoying lump in my throat, I wasn’t even aware it was there. “…fiery, passionate person. And last night happens and you just so damn calm. I guess… I guess I just got to thinking that’s be— because it didn’t matter to you.”

“Nah, Shelby.” She replied, amused by my words. _Damn._ So, I was making this heartfelt confession, and she was amused? “It’s ‘cause I trust you.”

It was a simple statement. There was nothing affectedly grand about it. But it was something unmistakable, unshakable, about the way Toni had said that. And it refitted my whole world. It shattered it into pieces and made it whole again. It fucking wrote the clear thick line between the world of Shelby fucking Goodkind before and in my world now.

And it was so wonderful I had hard times to believe my crazy mind hadn't just made it up. “What the hell did I do to earn that?” I sought confirmation.

“You saved my life.” She gave me more than that. I almost forgot. What I remembered was her yelling at me that she didn’t matter. At this particular moment, I felt like nothing else mattered just Toni. Toni. That’s why I needed to…

“Okay, but what if it all blows up. What if… what if we end up making each other freaking miserable, you know? What if I hurt you? I hurt people before… very badly. I…”

“What if our plane crashes, what if we nosedive into the ocean and, you know, end up stranded, and what if we wind up lost and starving?” Once again, I looked at her, and for the countless times, I found Toni even more captivating than a minute ago. “All of that already happened. The worst has already fucking happened. I don’t think I’ve got it in me to get that scared about something that could be good.”

No, she definitely hasn’t got it in her. She was fearless. She didn’t care if she was going to walk alone. It didn’t frighten her that she might not know yet, where the roads ultimately lead. She walked. She got up every time she fell and tried again. Sometimes she used too much energy for senseless battles, but she never gave in. In nothing great or small, large, or petty. She never gave in except for convictions of honour and good sense. Toni Shalifoe never yielded to force. Which I had done so many times.

Because I had believed if I won’t yield, If I didn’t follow, I wouldn’t be good enough. For my dad, for our church. Had any of those people ever cared about me? Had I been good enough for them only because I had been who they wanted me to be? Someone who actually wasn’t me. And they would shun the real me, despise me. But for what? Suddenly I didn’t understand why our church would think God wanted this. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love, said the bible.

And there was Toni who probably never seen a bible in her whole life. She had made me understand how hateful my approach _full of love_ had been. And the person who I had hated the most because of this approach had been me.

And now Toni was telling me she trusted me. That she’s not afraid because what we could have is good.

I had never felt so alive in my whole life as I felt right now with her. I had never been more me than I was now. And I had never wanted anything more than her.

My hand cupped her gorgeous face, and she leaned in. She freaking trusted me, and I was ready to make that trust well earned. Oh, and I also planned to show her, I wasn’t afraid anymore.

When I kissed her, the bliss of the last night came back but thousand times stronger. And for now, we were just kissing. Which wasn’t enough for me. In no time I pinned Toni down to the soft grass and forgot about the world around. My hand slipped under her tank-top, and I yearned to feel her bare torso at once.

And that was when she broke the kiss.

“Shelby, Shelby… don’t get me wrong.” She gave me that soft, wonderful smile of hers and caressed my cheek. “I would die for us to…to… you know, continue. But something is telling me even when you might be all fired up for that, too, you do not wish for 7 possible witnesses.”

Sweet Jesus. My face must have got all shades of red. I slid down next to her and hid my face in the palms of my hands. “No, I guess not.” I turned to my side. “But you’re so addictive Toni Shalifoe. Sometimes I forget there is a world outside of you.”

“Well, mostly, it isn’t.” She declared being all smug while mimicking my move. And then reached for my hand just to interlace our fingers. And for the first time, it was her lips that found mine first. She slowed the pace and let me relish our amazing connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a fluffy idea for the third (probably the last) chapter in my mind. It would take place in the holding facility. Although I am not sure If I will find enough skill and audacity to elaborate it to the whole chapter. But who knows?


	3. Chapter 3

The lock on the door clicked, and lights turn on. Buried under the blanket, I displayed no sign I noticed.

“Toni? Toni, can we talk?” I heard agent Young coming in. So, this match won’t be the pain in the ass, after all. Because that one dirty player who does nothing but deters didn’t show up. Yeah, thank fuck it wasn’t that ginger dipshit Farber, who appeared out of nowhere. I didn’t trust Young, but at least he hadn’t that face you just want to punch. The fake attitude that is supposed to convince everyone he’s all into the game when everything he seeks is just a fight. It would be much more difficult staying in the role with him around. “Toni? Are you awake?”

I turned slowly feigning awakening from well-deserved sleep. “I am now, obviously,” I grunted.

“Good, great. I’ve been wondering if we could talk.”

I reluctantly swung my legs off the bed and sat up on edge. Agent Young kept the distance but struggled with keeping his face straight.

I used the Chewbacca yawn to hide the gnawing discomfort that dwelled inside my chest. I wasn’t exactly master of control. But this was bigger than my silly inner battles, then my pettiness. I had to stay calm. _But what if something went wrong and Shelby—Fuck. No. No, Toni. Nothing went wrong. Shelby knows how to keep in control. He just came to check up on you. Some fucking standard procedure. Nothing less, nothing more._

“Toni,” agent Young spoke, and then I noticed the nurse behind him. Well, fuck. They were expecting me to freak out. “I am going to be straight with you. One of the girls attempted suicide.”

That I knew. It was part of Leah’s and Shelby’s plan. The distraction. He had said attempted. It meant everything had gone according to their plan, right? Shelby was safe. But if it was the case why he was here?

“Leah?” I blurted in a desperate attempt to cover the burning knot inside my chest that was too short, too close to cause an explosion. Mastering others was strength, mastering yourself was a true power. Many times, I couldn’t do either. Now I must, not only for Shelby or Marty. For all of us.

“It wasn’t Leah. Shelby tried to—”

Tried. So, she lived. Everything was as it should. Yet, they had come here to tell me. Was it a test, then? If I knew? One way or another, I had to do what I did the best. Unleash the fury.

“You government bastards, you are supposed to protect her.” I jumped off the bed and dashed into agent Young at full force. Frankly, he was a wall. He barely flinched. My faked effort to hurt him would be vain, no matter what. I expected a needle in the neck, at once but I didn’t care. I transformed everything in me into an uprising that was totally doomed. But it was worthy, it was for Marty and Shelby and rest of the girls. Besides Shelby had gotten through much worse than a needle in the neck. She had willingly triggered an anaphylactic shock and taken the biggest risk just to create a distraction.

Agent Young clutched me in his arms. It was a damn tight grip. I could barely breathe, but I didn’t give up. This show had to be believable. While I expected to be sedated, agent Young proved to be a formidable, yet virtuous opponent.

“Toni, Toni, would you stop If I told you, you could see Shelby, now?” He offered. I let my vigour diminish but not disappear completely. He could be playing with me. These people had been fucking with us from the very beginning. Still, agent Young was the only one with a hint of life in his eyes. Usually, he barely spoke, but his eyes were the most lively. The Takis moment had convinced me he wasn’t a goon like the rest. Although he wasn’t an ally either.

Since we had come here, it all had been you cannot see anyone, cannot talk to anyone, security issues blah, blah. And for many, I was just an angry girl. This could be their effort to break my cover. I must have not allowed that. “What about security protocols, quarantine and other bullshit? You’re fucking up with me, aren’t you?” I let my rage to burst again. “Wherever you’re going to take me, it won’t be to her. You government rats!”

I had never been much of the thinker. Actually, never desired to be. I could only hope that the shroud I created was the right one. I was dying to see Shelby. Damn, I was. This place with no sun was like a timeless prison. Sometimes I couldn’t be sure if I had seen others 48 hours ago or two weeks, or a fucking month.

But being too eager to believe I could see her would reveal my cards. Being overly suspicious would accomplish the same thing. The only way was to be a bit of both.

Well, fuck, how much I hated these mind games. But we were all in this together. So, I once again stretched my muscles as much as I could, just to fight my way out of agent Young’s tight clutch. With no success, of course. He reminded me of that guy from Gears of War. Cole train. Not only because he was the fucking unmovable object. But because those fucking things he was hiding were respect, patience, selflessness, and courage.

“Toni, Shelby is not doing well. This night won’t be easy for her. Instead of medication, she could use a friend. Someone who has her back. Someone who cares about her. I hoped it could be you.”

Agent Young cautiously released his grip and stepped back. Would he be lying to me, at this point I probably didn’t care anyway. But there was this fucking shit in his eyes. Something I actually had never seen before in someone when looking at me in particular. But it was always there when Marty’s mum and dad were looking at her. A consideration.

“Fine.”

“Follow me, then, please.” Lady with a giant needle a.k.a. wax figurine stepped down, and agent Young lead me through the maze of corridors. It took us a good five minutes and two security checkpoints to reach Shelby’s room. But only when her doors were opened, I realised my mind was blank, I hadn’t thought about a single shit for the whole time.

So, when I stepped in and the door thud behind me, I couldn’t come with anything appropriate to say.

Shelby’s eyes were closed. I could see her chest rising and sinking, but it wasn’t that kind of breathing that suggested peaceful sleep. It was shallow and forced. It was the breathing of someone who just had gone through hell but come back against all odds. Yeah, not long ago her throat had been constricted in an allergic reaction, her body close to suffocating.

She looked so vulnerable. Suddenly I was crazy mad with her, with her decision to voluntarily poison herself for a higher good. Oh, and I wished to strangle Leah as well. But the last thing Shelby needed right now was my anger. I took a deep breath, trying to tame the wild beast inside me. One wasn’t enough, though. I wasn’t ready for this, was I? To believe, it’s possible to let someone in again.

My extensive breathing revealed my presence. “Toni?” Shelby’s head turned my way, and her exhausted but still radiant eyes met mine. “Oh my, what did they give me? Now, I am hallucinating.” She smirked weakly.

“Well, I’ve been called names before, but kudos to you Shelby fucking Goodkind for originality. No one ever labelled me a hallucination.” My shaky voice surprised me.

“You real?” She kicked off the duvet, not minding her injured leg and manoeuvred her frail body to the sitting position. I had a damn hard time not to cry. “You’re real,” she repeated when I gulped and nodded, unable to make my mouth speak. That was all she needed to grab her walking aid and found some fucking secret energy stash that allowed her to spring right into my embrace.

The sound of clutches hitting the floor vanished, overwhelmed by the blast of urgency when our lips crashed. Shelby leant onto me. I was pinned to the door with an intensity that easily made our first kiss look almost chaste. My arms were all around her torso at once, securing her in my embrace. I had no idea one can miss someone’s physical presence as much as I missed hers until this very moment.

The heat possessed me in no time. The warmth of Shelby’s mouth merging with mine. Her hands grasping my ugly grey t-shirt. But as the kiss flowed, it became less urgent, rather tender. Less profound, rather soft until it ceased, and Shelby let her head rest on my shoulder.

This was a fucked-up situation. We were basically hostages, more or less. Still, I was feeling joy because of being close to her.

Shelby’s skin was blazing. I could feel it even through the fabric of our clothes. And yet, she was shivering. I would prefer if my presence only was the cause. But right now, it was probably mostly the reaction to recent anaphylactic shock.

Yeah, we’re both been experiencing a crazy mess, definitely. Still, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now, than here with her.

“Toni,” Shelby muttered to the crook of my neck. Her adrenaline was fading and took a rest of the strength on the way. Whatever she intended to say, left unspoken. It could wait, anyway, because…

“I’ve got you.” One of my hands slid down her hips and placed around the bend of her knees so I could pick her up. “I’ve got you, Shelby. Everything’s alright.” I pulled her up and closer to me, while she nestled in my embrace with ease, both of her arms encircling my neck.

Shelby was a flyweight. Although I was a lanky basketball player who had been starving for weeks, not a heavy lifter. Still, it wouldn’t be for the first time her presence made impossible possible. So, if needed, I would carry her trough fire, through the storm. I would not fall; I would not stumble until she was safe. Although, for now, her bed was only three steps away. Which I welcomed.

It was insane, anyway. Shelby fucking Goodkind being carried to her bed. By me.

_Don’t you dare to think about the wedding, Toni! Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare! There is no threshold along the way._

It beat me if I wanted to laugh or slap myself for a wedding idea. But since Shelby was my number one priority, none of it was an option. I shook off the mushy feeling and carefully put her down on the bed without giving a second tough about sneaking into the sheets with her. As my head laid comfortably on Shelby’s shoulder, her arm scooted around my waist.

It could be perfect. If we weren’t locked in some creepy government facility. But I was grateful, anyway. Half an hour ago, I could only dream about falling asleep like this. Shelby’s breath was finally getting to normal, becoming more stable, smoother. Her racing heart was slowing down as much. At some point, I would swear it synchronised with mine. _Fuck._ I really was becoming a queen of cheesiness with Shelby around, that was for sure.

But so what. Who knew what was going to happen tomorrow? Or how long this moment will last? I put aside everything, except for Shelby. It was just us. Here and now. And with that thought, I let myself relish this little bubble until it lasted. The lights turned off. Strangely calmed and content my body relaxed, and my mind unleashed the wildest fantasies. For example, about how we were cuddling in the king-size bed of our San Francisco apartment, not here in the middle of nowhere. I wasn’t the only one with bold thoughts.

“So, have you already figured it out?”

“Huh?” I blinked my eyes opened, seeing nothing but darkness breached only by the thin line of dimmed light under the door. Did I fall asleep and dreaming now, or was Shelby awake?

“I have asked,” her hand slid under my t-shirt and brushed the small of my back softly. “If you already figured it out.”

“Depends.”

“Our first date, silly. Where are you taking me?”

“Me?” I chuckled, sinking into the delight of her playful, gentle fingers dancing along my spine. “With others around, you are all plan maker. Let’s do this, let’s have some fun. Girls bonding, playing games together and now… where’s your spirit, now?” Shelby smiled. I mean, I couldn’t know. Yet, I did. “Leaving everything to the little old me.”

“Alright, fine. Come to the date with me, Toni Shalifoe.”

We had kissed before. We had done so much more. And all of it had been amazing. But now, when Shelby had asked me if I come on the date with her, damn. My tummy was filled with that stupid shit, how do they call it? Butterflies? It was also equal to the warmness of hot creamy chocolate after long freezing day. Not like we could actually go anywhere, but the subtle determination mixed with tenderness in her voice… She wanted to. She was so sure once we are going to on that date.

“So, what’s the dress code, Shelby? What are you gonna wear?”

“Summer V-neck dress, yellow. Or pink perhaps. Midi. Maybe short if you promise to behave.”

“Can’t do that. I mean, did you see your legs? They are to die for.”

“Midi then. What are you going to wear?”

“Sweatpants and a V-neck tank top. V and V, so we match.”

“Toni!” Shelby’s fingers caressing my back replace the tenderness with two preaching pats. “We are going on a date. Not to the gym for taking selfies and then pretending we worked out for two hours.”

“Damn, girl. Have ever anyone told you, you’re infuriating.”

“No.”

“Well, you’re but fine.” I couldn’t keep myself from smiling. And raising a bit just to place a soft little kiss on Shelby’s cheek. “No sweatpants.“ I promised, nestling back on her shoulder. “I can be a dress girl, too. Don’t expect any heels, though. Sneakers will do. That’s my last word. And maybe reconsider high heels too. I do not want to break my neck when I’m gonna kiss you.”

Shelby revived her delicate care of my back, and I sensed her fingers skimming all across the place, setting a little a piece of Eden everywhere they touched.

“K. It settles then. Can’t wait to see you in a dress.”

The conversation faded away, but the bond between us nourished. While being right next to Shelby I felt I was shielding her, protecting her, her profound touches exclaimed she relished my presence as much. I had been touched before intimately, of course. But Shelby’s sweet fondling was the whole other experience. And when she abruptly stopped, I was ready to beg her for more. But then she patted my bared skin again, this time not as preach but as a hail.

“Yeah,” I murmured as a confirmation she got my attention. And her fingertips started a little dance again but this time her every move had a purpose, and I realised she was writing a message on my back.

TONI was the first word followed with a big PLUS symbol. Next, she wrote SHELBY and painted a huge heart around it. TONI + SHELBY in the gigantic heart, of what a sap she was. And I loved it, oh I totally did.

“So where are you taking me?” I let my hand traced up her chest until it made contact with her face. I as well desired to relish caressing her skin.

“You’ll see. And it’s a good thing you choose sneakers because we are walking there. Up to the hill actually. Oh, and you look stunning in the dress by the way.” She said like we really were strolling around in warm late summer afternoon. The idea of her eyes roaming my body in dress appreciatively was more than appealing. And I can very much imagine my eyes would be the same when looking at her.

“You’re not bad yourself. And I’m super-cool with walking. It’s a great opportunity to hold your hand, it is.” As I said it, Shelby’s free hand linked with my stroking her cheekbone “Or to ask you about what ice cream you like the most.”

“Blueberry.” She kissed the palm of my hand.

“Favourite colour.”

“Yellow.” Another kiss came.

“Elena Delle Donne or Christen Press?”

“Toni Shalifoe.” Was Shelby’s answer when I let her choose between two stunning athletes. She had her wits about herself no doubt. And gave me the butterflies feeling again.

“The place you would never want to be taken for a date?” I continued.

“Are you already planning a date number two, Toni Shalifoe?”

“Nope.” I let a couple of kisses on the crook of her neck “Just keeping the conversation flowing. Nothing’s more embarrassing than awkward silence.”

“What about…” She prompted me to lift up. “What about the silence because of—” And possessed my lips.

“I can…” I spoke into the heated kiss. “I can…definitely… put up with such silence.”

“Oh but, we are already here.” Shelby held my enthusiasm in check. Which was a freaking smart move. The longer the kiss continued, the harder it would be to stop it. Besides, she had something almost as terrific in her pocket as her kissing skills. “The planetarium. Oh, and I’ve bought all the tickets for 8pm. So, the show is gonna be only ours. The dark auditorium, the magnificent northern sky and you. Isn’t it perfect?”

“You– You would take me to the planetarium for the first date?” I was absolutely astonished.

“Yep, so you could see the whole Pluto/Neptune correlation in the flesh. And maybe let your hand slip under my dress in the dark. In all innocence, of course.”

“You remember Pluto/Neptune?”

“Toni.” Shelby shifted a bit, so we laid side by side facing each other. Her face was barely visible, yet immensely beautiful. “I remember everything. Every look, every touch, every raw, vibrant rage you threw my way, initially. When I saw you on the plane, every place on my body physically capable of it, experienced goosebumps. And it was just a start.”

“Because of unwelcoming air-conditioned chill?” I ramble something completely imbecile to not show how much her words affected me.

“Chill? No, silly. I was burning inside. I ordered my brain to engage in anything but looking at you. It was vain, by the way. Instead of ignoring you, somewhere in the background, my unconsciousness come with a game. With an activity where I could deliberately touch you. Holly hell, no air-condition would cool another wave of heat the overflew me.”

“Oh, I hated you at the moment. When you dragged me out of my seat.” I went back in time to that moment. And to many others that included Shelby, barely catching what she said next.

“Your face said it all. But I am a master of emotional detachment. I just pretended you didn’t.”

“Because the same goosebump thing happened on my side as well,” I admitted.

“What?”

“What a what?”

“You liked me?”

“Of course not, Shelby. You haven’t heard? I hated you. You and your outgoing attitude and your legs insanely long and exquisite, your mesmerising eyes, your nicely shaped shoulders and incredible abs. Just your mere presence riled me up to no end, until—.”

“You resented me with your guts because you found me attractive?”

Shelby summed it up flawlessly. “Yes. I couldn’t be attracted to annoying overcompensating prick.” I confirmed being completely honest with her.

“You thought I was a prick?”

“You surely acted like one.”

“And you didn’t?”

“I could be nicer.”

“So, if I didn’t…if we didn’t… you’d still think I’m a prick? So, this is what? Just convenient for you? Just a release?” Someone’s self-consciousness woke up. But I hoped not for long.

“Shelby.” I cupped Shelby’s face with both of my hands. Yeah, we had a rough start, and I had been responsible for it as well. None of it mattered, anymore. “You’ve said you remember everything. How about that part where I trust you?”

Whether it was my words or my touch, the good spirit was restored. “Okay. Alright. But I am a suicidal wreck,” she joked. “I have a right to be a bit hysterical.”

“Listen, you dummy.” I kissed her forehead. Her nose. And pecked her lips and closed the topics, including our past. “That date, you’ve taken me for. In our heads. I think it was the best date ever. Thank you for it, Shelby.” Instead, I focused on our future. “And I promise you this. There will be many more.”

“I know. I know there will.” One of Shelby’s hands snuck under my t-shirt again and patted my back. “Because…” WE WILL FIGHT THEM. She wrote. “Because… when you’re with me, everything is possible.”

She was damn right. About both. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to stick with canon, but most of the things in this chapter are just my assumptions. Also… I have an idea for another chapter, definitely the last one for this time. It would take place ten years later. Wish me luck to find enough skill and inspiration to write it. And last but not least thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

I stared at the grey shabby wall diving into the darkness and resurfacing again, and again in sync with flickering light. Have I already been here? Or the scratches were different for now? This place was a maze. And as an unwanted something little extra, my movement speed was a joke. The crutches were cutting through my drenched t-shirt, irritating the burning skin bellow.

But I have to find her. Nothing else mattered. Despite the almost agonising pain, I move forward limping on the one unhurt leg.

“Toni!” I screamed, throwing my resolution to stay unnoticed out of the window. “Toni.” The erratic pounding of my heart was the only response I got. And then the cold breeze attacked from the side and made my shiver. I must be close to exit then. Which was the complete opposite of where I desired to be. I turned on my heel, counting how many turn-offs I had taken, evaluating which was wrong.

“To the right, to the right, then to the left and to the right again. Shit, you screwed up, Shelby.”

The flickering light became darkness abruptly, and maybe it was a good thing. Because I missed the blood soaking through my t-shirt in the place where crutches were supporting my body.

Every corridor was similar. The same width, the same hight, no obstacles in the way. So, I should not have a problem to go back and take the right turn for this time, even in the dark. If I stay focused. I stretched my exhausted muscles for another attempt to find Toni. 

My energy wasn’t unlimited, especially after what I had been through, and it was vanishing quickly. But once I find Toni, everything’s going to be alright, right?

“You can do this!” I spoke, but my own voice wasn’t the only noise I heard. Someone was following me. Hushed whispers and the eerie sound of cautious footsteps made me fasten the pace. I ordered my brain to forget the pain that was slowly reaching the unbearable level and lunged forward. It was pointless. Two faceless figures locked me in their grab and dragged me away from Toni.

“No, no! Noooo.”

I fought with sweaty sheets. _Fuck._ This dream, again.

The freaking nightmare third night in the row. And no Toni to snuggle with. She had a nightshift, keeping up a good work as an integral part of the San Francisco Fire Department.

I checked my smartwatch. My heart rate was equal to doing insane CrossFit bullshit. Not an ideal condition for falling back to sleep. And frankly, I would rather stab myself into the thigh than going through that nightmare again. It was 4:17 in the morning. Toni’s shift was about to end at six. If there was no fire or another emergence somewhere around the city, she could be back home in less than three hours. Maybe I could watch some Love Island to kill time.

I crawled out of bed feeling the sticky tank top doing me no favour in bringing some warmth. I took it off, which left me only in my panties and let even more chill in. Fortunately, I knew just the right remedy for this. The clammy upper part of my PJ ended in the laundry basket. Toni would be proud to see my aim. I hit the corner of a bathroom from my spot on the other side of our bedroom. I’d say it was pretty impressive. Thinking about Toni giving me a sweet little kiss for this achievement, I suddenly felt a bit better. Yet it needed a bit more than that, to get rid of the nastiness of my nightmare.

I did the beeline the hall where Toni’s hoodie hung on the rack. Once I was wrapped in it, my life signs slowly started becoming normal.

It’s been almost ten years since we had met on that God-forsaken island. Many things about our stay there had been a living hell. But in a way, I would go through it again all over a thousand times, if I had to. Because it had brought her into my life.

And every time my unconsciousness feared Toni could be taken from me, this nasty dream resurfaced to haunt me.

Like when this over-enthusiastic touchy journalist had supposed to write a couple of articles about SFFD, but her only focus was Toni. Or when Toni had been heavily injured while fighting a massive fire two years ago. And now, it was happening again, but why?

On my way to the couch and laptop, I stopped by the wall decorated with many frames. The photo of us skying on vacation in Switzerland, or me Toni and the rest of the girls posing with Martha when she had won the Dancing with the stars, or my live radio broadcast with Elena Delle Done as my guest. (Toni had been acting like a schoolgirl with a crush when I introduce them, oh she had. And I had found it adorable). Yeah, that time on the island had been anything but paradise, but we all had done our best to defeat any demon that had been awakened back then, hadn’t we?

My fingertips slid around the photo of Toni and the mayor of San Francisco. She had decorated her with the most prominent badge one can obtain by the mayor’s authority. Toni had saved a couple of workers imprisoned in the burning textile factory. They had been doomed to die an agonising death. Good for them that word impossible wasn’t in Toni Shalifoe’s vocabulary. And I guessed that had been how she escaped the death, as well. Because when her fellow firefighters dug her out of the debris, her lungs were pierced with a rusty bar.

My thumb stroked Toni’s face on the picture. Oh Lord, how mad I had been with her back then. If her mother hadn’t shown up and called the shots, they wouldn’t even let me see her in the hospital. Because technically, we had been nothing. 

Toni had been against any form of legal partnership, before. She had seen it as an oppressive institution and a useless one because love didn’t require a legal document to be true. She had claimed. I guess I had changed Toni’s mind when I had been yelling at barely conscious her back then.

Yeah I had become a little deranged, when yelling at her. Crying that if she and her recklessness are striving to die as some fucking hero, I at least want to hold her hand sitting on her hospital bed while it’s happening. Which I hadn’t been allowed with the status of a stranger.

Toni (and presumably also Fatin) had pulled some strings immediately, and the mayor had come to visit the consecutive day. She had made our marriage a reality at once, officiating it right there in the hospital room. _Just don’t expect I accept your misguided surname, Shelby fucking Goodkind._ Tony had joked and opened the box with two matching wedding bands. Yeah, Fatin’s help had been definitely involved. And from this day I had been miss Shelby Shalifoe. The small part of me had regretted I’ll never have this magical wedding I had always dreamt of, but I had Toni. And it was zillion times better than any ceremony.

My eyes flicked down to my ring finger, and all I could see was that it was terribly sad and lonely without its wedding band. I caressed Toni on the photo once more and returned to the bedroom. The ring laid on the nightstand next to my phone. Looking at both, my temptation started a silly game. If I touched the screen, I would know what Toni was doing right now, more or less. The fitness app synced with her smartwatch would tell me. So, if her heart rate was around 60, she was napping on the couch with one eye opened watching Mystics game rerun. If it was about 100, she was probably making coffee and snacks for the squad. If the number was higher than 130, I would rather don’t even want to think about that.

“Everything’s fine, Toni’s fine. She’ll be home in two hours.” I assured myself and put the ring on while ignoring the phone. The piece of jewellery wasn’t anything opulent relatively simple rose gold in a brushed satin finish. What had made it special was that Toni had the exact same. I would love it even if it was cheap plastic bought at a festival.

Besides, it seemed my dreamy wedding wasn’t of the table either. Three weeks ago, I had this special broadcast on my home radio station KJCH where I hosted the longest-married couple in San Francisco. Ruby and Joe. It had been a lovely chat, and everyone in the studio had seemed to be pretty excited that day. It had shown not only Ruby’s and Joe’s everlasting love had been the reason.

Toni had made a deal with my boss. At the end of the broadcast, she had appeared with this mysterious smile plastered on her face. And then she had knelt down and proposed me, like for real. She had said I deserved a full package. Not just perfect wife (her) and fabulous proposal ring (She really had brought that one with lollipop on the top for this occasion). But also, a perfect proposal and perfect wedding.

One of my colleagues had done a live stream on Instagram, oh boy. I would rather he didn’t because in one day the number of my followers multiplied insanely. Yeah, I did enjoy a bit of recognition. It went hand in hand with my job, and I believed I was a decent radio host. But now people across the globe knew me, because of that live stream. Not all of them support gay marriage I supposed. Maybe that’s where my discomfort had come from, perhaps that was the seed of the nightmares. The fear. Of being hated, shunned.

Oh, and as a bonus, my dear good kind father had appeared on the scene as well. After ten years.

My smartwatch beeped notifying me about a sudden high level of stress and offered a breathing exercise. Now. And it supposed to be smart. With resolution to make some tea first and then watch some episodes of Love Island, I moved to the kitchen. The sun wasn’t up yet, but the blood orange rays of light had already found their way out lightning the horizon. Not sure if it was because of how my life had been back there in Texas. Or if because Toni was here with me now. Or our the view from our apartment on the 14th floor added a bit to my excitement, too. But San Francisco’s sunrise always felt more magnificent than the one I remembered from Texas.

I put the kettle on the stove and in the meantime opened the cabinet to find the bag with dry yarrow. And also two cups Instead of one. Yeah, I absentmindedly prepared two and only after water boiled and tea infuser was in the right place in the teapot I realised, there was only one person for this tea party. Damn, slightly embarrassed, I put the second one back into the cabinet.

At least the sweet irreplaceable scent that always reminded me of the sun, filled the kitchen. While I let the teabag steep, I sought a lemon in the fridge and finished my creation with a pinch of honey. Before I could taste it, the sound of keys inserting to the lock and multiple clicks suggested the security door in the hall was about to open.

The little screen on the fridge informed me it was 4:59. The unusual time for visitors, or for Toni coming back from work. I stepped away from the kitchen counter to better view the hall and dug deeper into Toni’s hoodie. As if it could shield me from whatever big unknown was awaiting there.

“Hi.” Said my beloved wife standing in the door wearing full gear. Her yellow turnout pants and jacket were stained with water, mud and soot. The soft knocking sound of beads of water meeting the floor was cutting through the silence. She was without a helmet but wore a part of self-contained apparatus, the air tank, in particular. But without the headcover, I could see the marks around her face. The small rifts everywhere the mask had been pressed before, but no longer.

“Toni.” Sweet Lord, there must be some severe fire going on tonight.

“Shelby, don’t look at me like that. I am a fucking firefighter, fighting fire is what I do. And I promise I’m gonna clean the floor once I’m out of this.”

I just shook my head. I didn’t want to fight, but I would very much like to scream at her. Technically none of us needed a job. The compensation order against Dawn of Eve had provided us with enough money for the lifetime. But what kind of life it would be without purpose. Besides, Toni loved the job. Somehow fighting with real fire had helped her tame the one inside her as well. I just wished it wouldn’t be so dangerous.

“Fine, okay, fine.” I turned to my tea. I couldn’t be looking at her without thinking of how some burning structure is collapsing above her. But the sound of her struggling with the gear made it impossible. _Fuck._ I let the tea be and joined Toni. First, I helped her to get rid of the heavy air tank. But when I shift my attention to her jacket, she basically stopped assisting. I was allowed to take full control of her undressing until she stood there in front of me only in her undies. I could see the scar peeking out of the hem her tank top. The memento of rusty bar stuck in her lungs. It was so damn hard to not cry.

“I love you,” Toni muttered both of her hands callused by years of firefighter duty rising up to my face. I didn’t doubt it was meant as an apology. Her thumbs stroking my cheeks cautiously, almost shyly bear the message. Letting my face sink into this tenderness made me forgot I was crossed with her.

I had been a master of dissociation once. The skill still could convince me that my better half wasn’t in the serious danger every time she went to work, even after her accident two years. Under one condition, though. I needed to be spared from the view of the freaking yellow firefighter gear ruined by whatever element it fought and Toni’s worn-out face. And now she had come to me to show me this exact image. Why?

“You back early.” I reached for her hand and kissed her palm. Yeah, I couldn’t be angry with Toni anymore. Now, while she was standing in front of me just in her underwear and grey tank top looking nothing but defenceless. “And you smell like a chimney.” But I couldn’t shove it off just like that. She gave an impression she had dashed out of the inferno. And she must know it made me super upset seeing her like this.

“The shift ended early.” She said like she actually believed I would buy the crap.

“Toni!”

“What, Shelby. The fire was ceased, and that lazy rookie can roll the hoses at least for once, instead of taking after fire selfies to impress his hoes. So,” Toni dared her arms to encircle my waist, and I found no will to oppose her nor to stop my head sweeping down on her shoulder. Yes, she was talking nonsense. But she was still my sweet and attentive only love. “I decided to cut my shift. Maybe they even fire me after this, so you’ll be finally happy.”

“Toni, why I would be happy about something that makes you sad?”

“Dunno. Because I won’t be annoying you anymore, with the stupid job that requires me leaving you at night alone. Or riled you up with not fulfilling your expectations about I dunno…like the perfect proposal or…”

“What? Toni, what’s going on just tell me, please. Please.” I looked up, having no clue what the catch was. Where it all had come from.

“Me? You tell me, Shelby. Since I proposed to you, you’re acting weird. Isn’t fairy tale wedding what you always wanted? And now you’re just lost in thoughts the whole day. You are avoiding me.” Did I? I just still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact the proposal had really happened. 

“And, and now,” Toni backed out and hunkered down to her gear. “I—I,” her voice started to shake, “I am out for work, your heart rate speeds up three nights in the row, and your sleep is non-existent.” She found her phone somewhere in the messy pile on the floor. The phone that was dead.” The fitness app told me. “She was waving around with the dark screen. “It—It could be because some goon attempted a robbery, wanted to hurt you. Or— Or be—because you have another company. Who’s not as annoying as I am. Like— like that new intern in KJCH. She cannot simply take her eyes from you. She— I—” The sneaky phone ended on the top of the pile.

“Toni.” I took her by the hand, and despite mild resistance, she landed in my embrace. Exactly where I needed her. Oh, my I couldn’t believe she was self-conscious now because my smartwatch and that brainy fitness app told her I wasn’t sleeping for three nights in the row.

“Are you bored with me, Shelby? Is there someone else?” She asked on the edge of tears, unable to look me in the eye.

“I love you, Toni.” I kissed her temple. “You and only you.” Her cheekbone. “I’ve always had, and I always will.” And finally, also her chalky trembling lips, to bring her back to life.

“Why you didn’t sleep for three days in the row, then? Something is troubling you.”

I rest my forehead against hers. It was time to come clean. Hell, if I had done right after the first tough night, Toni probably wouldn’t end on edge.

“I… I do have nightmares again. About the holding facility. About losing you.”

“You’re not gonna.” She was nothing but vigour again. Seizing the hold of both of my hands. Firmly but gently. It was incredible how her attitude changed when it turned out I had really been struggling with something. “Nothing in this world could take me away from you, Shelby. And you also need to tell me about these things.” She insisted. “Is this because of the wedding?”

“No. I mean, maybe. I mean…. I just wished you didn’t get my father involved. I know you meant well with that perfect weddings needs someone to walk the bride down the aisle. And people can change, but he sent me to gay conversion camp to indoctrinate me with belief homosexuality is a sin. Not to mention, it turned out to be a horrific social experiment. My own father made me feel I was unlovable and unworthy until I was cured.” I sighed.

It most likely wasn’t only because of my father. I was afraid Toni had come with the whole wedding thing only because she had felt obliged to do that. And I didn’t want her to do something that could feel forced. Because such things always backfired. And letting coward in me assume the control, unable to tell her this I turned attention back to my father. “And now he is invited to our wedding?” Which might give me a momentary relief but it definitely wasn’t fair to Toni.

“He’s not invited.” Obviously upset because of the whole situation, she escaped from my touch and started to pace around the kitchen. “I just agreed with dinner. And I wasn’t completely honest with you. I didn’t call him, okay. He called me first. But since he didn’t try to contact you for ten years. I didn’t know how you would react to the fact he just came into the picture of all of a sudden. So, I made up the story it was me. Now it sounds stupid, but at the moment it felt like the right decision.” She rubbed her weary face nervously while I was trying to make senses of her words.

“I don’t know how he found me or found out about the wedding. Probably he or someone he knows saw the record of the Livestream. It became quite viral. And then two days after that, the phone at the station rang, and it wasn’t an alert. It was someone looking for lieutenant Shalifoe.” So could father had been watching me the whole time? I had no answer, and Toni hadn’t finished, yet.

“Trust me, Shelby, when I figured out who he was I wanted to tell him to fuck off, at once. But he seemed genuinely interested to meet you. I mean, look at my mom. She’s been sober for four years, now. Isn’t it that having faith bullshit about forgiveness and absolution? Maybe he finally got that he was the one who did wrong and now he seeks for atonement. I mean you’re the fucking best thing Shelby, who wouldn’t want you in their life?” She asked but wasn’t looking at me. Instead, she was starring at her ring finger playing with her wedding band anxiously. “If I knew it upset you this much, I would never talk to him, I swear. I’m gonna text him the deals off. No dinner.” Absolutely knocked out she reached for her phone in her pants pocket only to realised she neither hand pants on nor the phone in them. “Shit.”

“What about this.” I fixed my previous mistake, of letting her out of my arms and navigated her right back to them. “We deal with that dinner when it comes. Now you gonna take a shower. And I’m gonna make you a magnificent breakfast. And then we both can sleep for a bit. Nicely snuggled together in our marvellous comfy vast bed. It’s Sunday, after all.”

“What about I skip the shower, and we just crash to bed.” She negotiated.

“The shower will make you feel better, you’ll see. Besides I’m not sleeping with chimney, go shower.” I teased.

“Geez, fine, miss posh.” She pecked my lips and teased as much. “But the first time you ate my p—”

“Go, Toni. Just go.”

I pushed her away gently, and for this time, she didn’t protest.

So, first the mess in the hall than breakfast. I made a quick schedule. I was no expert on air tanks, so I just leave that thing in the corner of the hall until Toni decides what to do with it. The rest of her gear was soaked with water and grimed with smoke and soot. No way I was gonna put these into my wash-machine. I’ll take them to the laundry tomorrow, I decided. Toni probably had spare gear at the station, so she could manage. So, I only mined for Toni’s ruined cell and put it into the shoe cabinet. Maybe there was a chance to safe it. The rest of the pile I took to the balcony and draped every piece of it on the back of our patio chairs.

The sun was already up. It’s going to be a nice day. And no matter what will happen during my father’s visit, it won’t change anything between Toni and me. And who said father didn’t want to meet because he had changed and wished to walk me down the aisle.

I left the grim gear behind and left the balcony as well. But even if that little cloud above my head was already blown away, the dreary splash on the floor in the hall and many stains on the way to the balcony weren’t just metaphorical. And actual manual work was necessary.

I knew Toni had promised to take care of it, but I had no heart to push her to keep that promise. For the last couple of hours, she had been fighting some freaking fire. And because of my own overthinking in the last couple of days, she had been doing her own overthinking as well. Not to mention taking nightshift in the meantime.

I walked into the bathroom with the best intention to obtain the cleaning supplies. I made a fatal misstep thought. Instead of squatting down to the cabinet under the sink, I let my eyes wander to the shower. The view was all my lust needed to take control of my body.

When I had met Toni ten years ago, it had taken everything in me to suppress this kind of feelings. Initially, she had helped a bit, because she had been heinous as fuck to me. And then one day she hadn’t been anymore.

The aura of passion, her raw emotions and her unexpected insight on things I couldn’t understand myself back then. Those had always sucked me into the vortex of the unknown when she had been around. I had been scared of it. Yet equally excited. And somehow she still possessed this ability even after ten years in the relationship.

Not to mention she aged magnificently, well. As a firefighter, she had gained some muscles and undeniably super sexy shape. Her bottom was plain perfect, delightfully awesome screaming to be squeezed. Her back and shoulders excruciatingly symmetrical, agonisingly beautiful. Oh, and I was probably dripping only by watching her perfect form behind the cloudy glass.

I took off the wedding band and left it resting right next to Toni’s on the clear floating shelve. The hoodie and my panties weren’t treated with the same care. They were relentlessly let to fall down on the floor so I could freely sneak into the shower.

“Hey, beautiful.” I slowly pressed my body to Toni’s back and spilt a couple of naughty kisses along her neck. “Fancy a company?”

Yeah, she still did this to me. After ten years, I still didn’t need much to feel the tingling sensation dwelling inside me whenever she was around. Craving to have more of her, even when she had already given me so much.

“Depends…” She spun in my arms, first just gently stroke my hungry lisp. Then made a bit of the distance between is us and let her fingertips slid down to my breast, carefully avoiding my swollen nipples. And then she pushed me into the tilled wall. “You talked about serving a magnificent breakfast, didn’t you?. Could I have a dessert before the main course?”

It wasn’t a question, really. And I had no time to react, anyway, just to watch Toni kneel down making my eyes shut tightly in anticipation of insane pleasure.

* * *

I opened the waffle maker and lightly tap on the top of one of the waffles. The sound was just the right music for my ears. My effort brought the best fruit, and these gems were gonna be crisp, rich, yet amazingly fluffy inside. A perfect combo with scrambled eggs deliciously finished just a moment ago with the help of little a bit of milk and grated Gran Padano. Once I loaded the plates with all the goodies, I decorated them with half-cut strawberries and bacon strips. Only one last upgrade left. A small knob of butter topping the waffles. When met with the hot surface, it started to melt instantly.

“Hey, babe.” Toni’s hand slipped under my t-shirt, well, her t-shirt I was wearing. “You didn’t have to do this.” Her lips pressed on my ear; her teeth nibbled it gently. “My hunger was already satisfied.” I sensed her tongue playing with my earlobe. “Partly. Not for long.” She breathed. Her just washed wet hair were tingling my shoulders, my never enough satisfied breasts. And I would probably very much hear this calling again if Toni’s tummy didn’t gurgle loudly.

“Sorry, sorry.” Toni untangled her body from mine and took a step back.

I took both plates, and on my way to the kitchen table, I placed a small kiss on her lips. “Maybe a bit of food will come in handy as well.” And one on both of her captivating, bared shoulders, as well. “These stretched beautiful muscles of your needs to be rejuvenated if striving for brining me your special kind of pleasure later.”

“Well, alright. Since it looks delicious.” She crashed down to her chair, and I joined at once. I had hated the kitchen before. Like before, before. I had always felt strangely anxious in the kitchen of my parent’s Texas house. I had found the idea of cooking or spending a lot of the time in that room disturbing. It had almost always given me unsettling willies. No matter if it was the middle of the steamy August. The only feeling I could recollect according to the kitchen of my parents’ house was shivering cold.

Our kitchen and cooking for Toni, that was a whole different story. With a lot of sun and warmness.

“I was fantasising about this exact meal you know. That day.” Toni opened up after she took a forkful of everything. “The day we…we clicked.”

It was funny like she had absolutely ravished me in the shower a couple of moments ago. But every time her memories took her back to the island, to our beginnings it was like she became that 18 years old Toni, again. Thoughtful but cautious. Passionate but vigilant.

“So, my starving body came with this idea of having the most amazing waffles, but my vivid imagination jumped in and scream. Yeah, fuck off. I am inserting Shelby fucking Goodkind.”

She blushed. Well, very, very sightly, but I swore she had done.

“First of all,” I said with my finger pointing. “That’s not my name. Shelby Shalifoe, if you must. And second, you’ve already told me that story like zillion times. That’s how I know you love waffles, eggs and bacon.”

“Oh, is that so? Miss Shelby fucking Shalifoe. If it was true, where is my—”

“Iced tea?” I sauntered to the fridge. “This extraordinary lemon Iced tea?” I pulled out the jug full of crinkling ice cubes and poured Toni a glass.

She didn’t reach for it but for my hand and pulled me down right to her lap. “I love you.”

She had told me countless times before, but not once it sounded mundane or mechanical. Every single _I love you_ from her had made me feel like she was saying it for the very first time, and I burst with happiness.

“I love you, too, Toni. And I should apologise for not telling you about nightm—”

“No, Shelby, you shouldn’t. It was me who became a deranged hysterical psycho fleeing from work thinking you’re done with me. The first promised I gave to you is that I trust you. Yet, I let my mind to get fully mental. And it was me who made the mess in the hall and let you deal with my filthy gear. And it was me who…who…”

“Stop, Toni, stop. It’s cool, we’re cool. Tomorrow we will have dinner with my father and if he wishes to be part of my life again, so be it. And if he wishes for anything else, he can f— fly back to Texas.”

And I just had to believe Toni didn’t feel forced to arrange the wedding, and it won’t backfire later.

“Sounds good.” She snuggled into my chest, while I soaked the warmth of this moment, the feeling of that I belong. Something only Toni could provide. “Wanna hear a secret?” She mumbled being very much stuck to my body, which I didn’t desire to change. So, I just nodded. “The fire truck is actually a water truck. I bet you didn’t know.”

“Nope.” I laughed wildly, almost falling down but Toni secured me in her arms. “But that’s why I have you, silly.”

“Uh-huh. And also…” She stood up, lifting me up, too, while I was comfortably nestled in her embrace. “…for this.” She chuckled while carrying me to the bedroom. “So be considerate with your choice of the wedding dress. Nothing bulky or voluminous. It’s gonna be me after all who carry you over the threshold.”

* * *

The buzzing around my left wrist was slowly but surely dragging me away from my sleep. And becoming more and more annoying. I reluctantly opened one of my eyes. 11:40, the screen said. In an hour, I was supposed to be in the downtown catching up with girls.

“Babe could, you, please put that thing in the grinder and piss on it, as well. Or something.”

I hit the screen to stop the buzzing and kiss Toni’s nose softly. “Wanna join me? Some lattes or mojitos, almost certainly mojitos in the downtown and Fatin, Dot and Leah as a crowd.”

“Wanna bailed on those tossers and sleep for another 12 hours?”

“Tempting, but no, hun. It’s about the bridesmaids’ dress and stuff. Super important.”

“K. Then see, ya when you’ll back.” She kissed the first place her sleepy had reached, and it was one of my nipples. Which made it much more difficult to leave. But we all had been busy, and I hadn’t seen girls for almost for three months. I was all fired up to meet them.

“K. I say hi from you then at least.”

“Uh-huh. And fuck-off don’t steal my wife wankers, would be nice, too.” Toni smiled into my chest.

And I really needed to go, because her appealing charm would lock me in her gravity, very soon no doubt.

It wasn’t easy, but I was successful. An hour later, I was soaking up the sun in the company of Dot, Fatin and Leah occupying the best table in the Café terrace.

“So, let me get this straight. No pun intended.” Dot slurped a big gulp of her definitely non-virgin Mojito. “You’re are already married. For two years, we know that. Because you were raging after Toni’s accident that docs refused to let you see her. Because you were a stranger. So, Toni called Fatin, one of the most prominent San Francisco citizens, “Dot patted Fatin’s shoulder. “And, the mayor showed up and sealed the deal for you.”

“Yep, that’s correct.” I took a sip of my drink, as well.

“And now, precisely three weeks ago, Toni finally decided you deserve the full-time experience. Not just same lame hospital room rushed tying the knot. And she officially and pretty much publicly propose your sexy ass. Finally, after ten years, you’re going to have this rom-com wedding where you renew your vows.”

I just nodded. It was nothing more to add, Dot definitely had the skill to grasp the things around her.

“Shelby.” She scoffed. “You haven’t thought this through, have you? Fatin would kill for being a first bride, I’m telling, ya.”

“Damn, I do,” Fatin exclaimed. “If it wasn’t for me, you’d be still sitting on that ugly log asking the paper fortune-teller if Toni’s pussy is worthy of licking.”

“Fatin!” I wasn’t dread anymore of saying words pussy and licking in the same sentence, but fuck. It didn’t mean that couple sitting next to us with two preschool kids would be all fired up to let them learn this kind of correlation this early of their age.

“What? It’s the truth.”

“Well, for your information, I’ve already done.” The only thing that could cease Fatin’s straightforward personality was a straightforward approach. “A night before. So, I knew it was worthy, I just—”

“Doesn’t matter. What’s matter is that I’m gonna be the first maid at your wedding. Duh.”

“Sorry to rain on your parade, but Toni chose Marty. It’s no other way around.”

“Exactly,” Fatin take a decent gulp of her long Gin Fizz. “Toni has Marty, but you’re the bride, too aren’t you? Two brides two first maids of honour. Who’s a lesbian here, you or me? Do your research about the lesbian wedding if you want one!”

“Oh darling, are you on your period or has that boyfriend of yours turned out to be gay.” Leah looked up from her Bees Knees cocktail being all impish.

“Kevin is not my boyfriend.”

“Karim, his name is Karim, not Kevin. Jesus, Fatin who doesn’t remember the name of their boyfriend?” Dot guffawed taking another large gulp of Mojito.

“I’m telling you he’s not my boyfriend.” Fatin spat having difficulties too not be defensive. Oh my, there must be a shortage of sex in her perfect kingdom of pleasure, was my first notion. “We are fucking occasionally, but now when he made it to the first team, it’s more hardly ever, not occasionally. These pro athletes are weird. I need to dump him. They have some crazy rules about not having sex before the match and after the match and such nonsense.”

“Hey, bitches. What did I miss?” Toni. Toni made it. Toni came. Of course, she did. She was my Toni after all. She pulled a free chair close to mine. Close enough for us to be basically stuck together. And a bit sneakily she gave me this astonishing, mind-blowing kiss. That kind of I love you kiss. I’d make you scream in pleasure. Or I hold your hand for twenty years if it was the only thing that I would be allowed to, yet I still found it worthy. And she delivered all of this in only three seconds.

“Pretty much nothing. Just Fatin talking about her sexual frustrations.” Leah gave me that look _why you here with us when you could be riding her ass._ I hit her shoulder playfully, without anyone noticing.

“Well maybe if you volunteered to fix that, I wouldn’t have any. Frustration.” Fatin spoke. But I have a feeling it was only to Leah, personally.

“Maybe, I will.” Leah reached for Fatin’s hand, giving us every possible option for interpretation. “But you need to write me a sappy cheap romance book first.”

And with that cheeky remark, the spontaneous laugh filled the space. It seemed those nasty things from our past had been dealt with. Maybe the happy ending wasn’t exclusive for fairy tails. Maybe second chances weren’t happening only in soap operas. Maybe love was possible. I had the best proof at hand. Toni, my wife, Shalifoe.

And maybe even an obstinate fool like my father could change and walk me down the aisle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said one last chapter in the previous chapter's notes, well actually I already said it twice, lol.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter was becoming too long, so I split it and gave every girl the part with her POV. So at least one more chapter is coming.
> 
> Also, there was no hint so far what future job preference girls have. So, I chose a firefighter for Toni, because it’s quite symbolic. And with her lively personality, I guess Shelby would be a great radio host. 
> 
> And… as always, thanks for reading.


End file.
